Flingers!

In the small time world of business transactions that is Felsen, we have recently learned a valuable lesson.  Get it in writing!  I know, I know...I should have already learned this lesson long ago.  I’ve been burned a number of times.  It’s kinda embarrassing to me that after so many years in the biz that I/we still, from time to time, get bitten in the ass.  But I’ve been burned even when I had it in writing: they, the scumbags who reneged on their contract, knew that it was more of a pain in the ass for me and would ultimately cost me more in legal expenses to pursue than the original amount owed to me. End story: they win, I lose. Small claims court=large pain in ass.  What do you do?  Write a negative Yelp review and teach those unscrupulous motherscrappers a lesson?  (not my style--plus I’m too lazy).  So... I’m gonna vent here on my blog. Maybe write a song about it (probably not). And definitely send at least one more sternly worded email.

A long time ago I played a random drumming gig at a kinda neat venue in Ben Lomond, CA called Henflings.  I made a mental note about the place and tucked it away.  Years later when I put Felsen together and I’d blown through all the invitations to open for my friends bands and it was time to book our own gigs, I reached out to this place and sent an email booking inquiry.  The owner/booker got back to me and said “no dice”.  They book hard rock, blues and cover bands.  Felsen’s music wasn’t a good fit. No hard feelings.  Again I tucked it away.  I knew we rocked hard on stage, but the first album was anything but hard rocking:  sad, dark, introspective and quiet--yes, Molly Hatchet--no. Oh well.  A year and a half later we came out with “Breaking up With Loneliness”.  Definitely plenty of upbeat rockers on that one.  Just for shits and giggles I sent it to him again.  This time he got back to me and offered us a Thurs night.  That’s a long drive down there on a thurs night.  It took a bit of arm twisting, but my band agreed and we went and did the gig and had a reasonably good time.  Not really our long-term desired demographic there in the hills of Santa Cruz, but it’s a gig, we made some money and we sold some CDs.  A few weeks later, they called and offered us a 2nd gig this time on a Saturday night. Wow, were moving up in the world!  

Again we schlepped it down there (144 mile round trip journey).  The gig was OK. Crowd response was average. Some people loved it while some people wanted Molly Hatchet, Skynard and Floyd.  Some people wanted to smoke their locally grown weed with us while others probably wanted to burn us at the stake.  Allow me to explain. I am aware that I push people’s buttons. I get up in people’s faces when we’re playing.  I go out into the audience.  I physically corral people, herding them onto the dance floor when necessary--or break down the “Third Wall”  as they say in the theater world.  Prometheus brings fire to the people! ( I saw harmonica virtuoso Sugar Blue do this same shtick long ago at Rosa’s west side club in Chicago--I took notes.)  I write songs about hot button topics like “Secret Life of Guns”--inspired by mental giant Sara Pallin’s campaign slogan--Don’t Retreat, Reload.  Or a song about the killing of Oscar Grant (Ghost of the American Experience).  I got a big mouth.  I berate the audience about turning off their cell phones.  I strongly encourage people to buy our CDs (especially at venues where there’s no cover charge).  It’s not always comfortable, but it is entertaining.  It’s gotta be done and it’s gotta be better than TV.  Maybe I stepped over the line.  I’ll admit to that. I’m sure I have done so and will probably do so again.  Oh well.  

After that 2nd gig, we all felt like we were done with Henflings.  Again, not our long-term desired demographic.  Just another gig.  We kinda forgot about the place. And then I got an email 8 months later from the new booker who had actually been tending bar both times we previously performed at ‘Flingers.  Well go figure, she loved it.   She’s a fan and she wants us back AND she’s offering us a cash guarantee. Ok, now THAT we can do.  We found a date that worked.  I made a poster, sent them copies, I even sent down a stack of FREE PROMO CDs to hand out to patrons to help get the locals amped up about our gig.  Things were looking up for Felsen! Then about a week before the gig I got an email  cancelling our gig.  Apparently the boss didn’t share her good feelings towards Felsen.  I felt bad for the booker.  She’s a fan.  I’m sure she felt crappy about it.  I emailed her and said thanks for sticking your neck out for Felsen...but yeah we’re gonna need that money regardless.  The boss probably looked at the schedule on his calendar a week before the show and remembered us as the band with the loudmouth singer with left leaning political agenda and said “no dice” to his booking agent.  My bandmates (including myself) turned down other paying gigs that we could have done with other bands on that night to go do a gig with Felsen.  Worse yet was that we had a tour coming up the week after the Henflings gig and we needed that money for essentials like gas, motels, pizza, moonshine and Voodoo Donuts.  Still no word from the good people at ‘Flingers.  No money.  I included my address  where they could send a check.  Go figure, it hasn’t arrived just yet.  Regarding the tour: we managed to slide through that one not in debt. We got lucky on CD sales.  But had Henflings payed us, we could have payed ourselves a little something for the tour. Maybe our wives/fiances would have looked at us a little different had we come home from tour not empty handed--again.  Being a single mom for 4 days while your hubby is out on the road not making any money certainly does suck.  So dear Henflings, I’m waiting on that check.  Until then I will refrain from writing trash on Yelp.  Infact, when that check arrives I promise to write you a Yelp sonnett pledging my eternal love and patronage.  Maybe I’ll even write you a song (ok probably not).